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i don't do drugs anymore again ( songs from 2005​-​2010 )

by Michael Ireland

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1.
i know it now like i knew it then. you were never heaven sent. you're the devil. i'm a bastard. you're a whore. i always have looked out for you while you choked on your silver spoon, now it's over. now i'm done. now it's through. and i still wonder where you are. in the bathroom stall of the bar. blowing things in your brain, little girl you'll never change and i've been alright so far. i know i pulled some shit on you but not compared to what you do to everyone around you, little doll. safe inside your palace made of diamonds pearls and silver lace, i am happy in my dirty little pile. i still wonder where you are. in the backseat of someone's car. doing things that you know your dad would cry about. little girl, you've gone too far. i still wonder where you are. European cigarettes and caviar. i guess my friend, he's good for you. i hope you know he's had a few just like you. baby girl, you've gone too far.
2.
your depression is mounting, the ashtray is filling because of it. bedside bottle's half empty, the rest of it's filling with my regret. just how sad can you get when nothing is ever really worth it. your depression is mounting, my body is failing because of it. do yourself a favor, run away from everyone who loves you now. spiders creeping up the wall, the notes sound beautiful when they dance out of your mouth. i got this friend who's all broken, everybody just left him on his own again. we got our own medication it costs next to nothin', then we're free again. do yourself a favor, run away from everyone who loves you now. spiders creeping up the walls, the notes sound beautiful when they dance out of your mouth.
3.
Holy Eraser 02:14
a new tattoo with a pocket knife, a lit cigarette and a fucked up life. the whiskey's gone and the heart's dried out. the gun's loaded and i'm laying down. God, please erase me. the blood's frozen in my veins. Jesus Christ, you're never right, the Devil will save me. Crossed out eyes in the morning light. Point my gun at the bright blue sky. Scream out loud till my face turns red and feel cold steel run across my head. God, please erase me. the blood's frozen in my veins. Jesus Christ, you're never right, the Devil will save me. 666 yeah, i'm calling out. fuck this shit, i'm on my way down. God, please erase me. the blood's frozen in my veins. Jesus Christ, you're never right, the Devil will save me.
4.
out in the fields, nobody's listening. hymns of the night resonate through the dust. down in the tracks, singers are spilling lessons of life to trains passing by. dancing around our old apartment. behind a curtain, a box of old things i left behind for you to laugh at and to give out to your new found friends. out on the docks, sailors are whisteling. a girl's passing by in her summer dress. down on the Bowery, sinners are sinning. nothing has changed since i came back to life. dancing around our old apartment. behind a curtain, a box of old things i left behind for you to laugh at and to give out to your new found friends. Uptown is burning, the leaves are all turning. Faces are changing and so is the tide. Downtown is racing, the girls are all chasing boys that they know will be gone by the dawn. dancing around our old apartment. behind a curtain, a box of old things i left behind for you to laugh at and to give out to your new found friends.
5.
baby, don't be sad. you're the best thing that i had. i'd walk through a fire with kerosene hands cause you're the best thing that i had. i'd lay down my head on the tracks. when the whistle blows i won't react. the flowers are dying and my world has gone black cause you're the best thing that i had. the rabbit man is up on the moon. i'm tangled on the sand with you. the ocean is pretty but the stars are sad cause you're the best thing that i had. another late night at the bar while these idiot kids become stars. my hands are all busted and my gut's hurtin' bad cause you're the best thing that i had. we're working ourselves to the bone trying to find our way home to the highways we love, we'll never come back. cause you're the worst thing that i had.
6.
seasick 01:52
i'll wait for you like tracks wait for the trains. i miss you like the lillies miss the rain. i'll make all the sadness disappear. and i'll love you for the man you've made me, dear. seasick from the boat you rocked in me. burning like a cigarette in leaves. crazy as a bat in a belfry. will you wait for me? will you wait for me? i miss you like the bumblebees miss june. living in your pictures, yeah it's true. if i built a tunnel just for you, would you run away and come right through? seasick from the boat you rocked in me. burning like a cigarette in leaves. crazy as a bat in a belfry. will you wait for me? will you wait for me?
7.
i saw a girl eat an apple off the subway floor. people stared, but it made her want to eat it more. i got a call from the Captain with a voice of despair. guess our ship is going down, and i don't care. got a book and i read it in the very same day. Conrad said, " man, you should really read some Hemingway. " got a knack for believing everything i hear and that's changing this year. there's no more wasted time. i couldn't get higher if i even tried. not even in another life. i couldn't come down if i wanted to since i got rid of you. and there's no more wasted time. i saw my family dissipate in the southern sun it was really really sad but we had a good run. met a person that i knew was coming all along. it finally felt that it really won't go wrong. and there's no more wasted time. i couldn't get higher if i even tried. not even in another life. i couldn't come down if i wanted to since i got rid of you. and there's no more wasted time.
8.
no sleep 02:34
there will be no sleep for me underneath that willow tree, in the southern breeze, i won't be counting stars. oh, no. i wake up in the street. my pants around my knees and my undershirt pulled over top my head. oh, no. oh, no. this constant bickering between myself and me over what to do about these phantom pains. oh, no. i feel my lungs collapse and i suddenly relapse back to scummy thoughts and worse than that, my heart is skipping beats. throw up my guts on the bathroom floor. bang my head on the back of the door and watch my life makes it's way down the drain. will they ever stop, these stupid phantom pains? my ghosts, they follow me in every dark city and make things that shouldn't hurt begin to hurt. they hurt. those ugly eyes i see throwing nickels at my feet and i chase them down but they were never there. oh, no. throw up my guts on the bathroom floor. bang my head on the back of the door and watch my life makes it's way down the drain. will they ever stop, these phantom pains?
9.
( this song is very very old!! wow. ) isn't this fitting? everyone's angry, everyone's running around. catching a smile, catching a laugh. i know i won't be around. my girlfriend hates me, she thinks i am lazy and all of my friends are so weird. i think they're lovely and most of them love me. we keep our enemies near. haven't i told you everything i knew about how to lose everyday? getting talked down to and made into a fool. who's listening anyway? we've done everything that you say, now turn your back and walk away. i've never known a man with such contempt for life like you. you're so angry and blue. some other time i'll tell you all how the story unwinds. it goes. " la la la la la la la la la la la la " we've done everything that you say, now turn your back and walk away. i've never known a man with such contempt for life like you. you're talking to walls. your eyes are all glazed and you care for fuck all. i've never known a man for such contempt for life like you.
10.
i still ache for you. have you been true, even though i have not? back in your room, you've rearranged all your things to forget. i've done the same things. but somethings you cannot change, like...is your hair still dark as the night? are your hands still softer than mine? are your words still burning a hole in anybody who is willing to listen. are your battles still fought with pride? do your eyes still twitch when you lie? are you still the one i believed in? are you still the one i believed in? that medieval town we walked around like the world wasn't spinning. like the world wasn't spinning. on the snowy stone path all we did was laugh like the worst must be ending. like the world must be ending. i do the same things. somethings you cannot change, like...is your hair still dark as the night? are your hands still softer than mine? are you words still burning a hole in anybody who is willing to listen. are your battles still fought with pride? do your eyes still twitch when you lie? are you still the one i believed in? are you still the one i believed in? crossing lines with every step i take. burning down bridges on the way. i do the same things. somethings never change, like...is your hair still dark as the night? are your hands still softer than mine? are your words still burning a hole in anybody who is willing to listen. are your battles still fought with pride? do your eyes still twitch when you lie? are you still the one i believed in? are you still the one i believed in?

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various apartment recordings from 2005-2010

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released August 3, 2009

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